Free Spirited

snakegay:

mike’s hard chamomile tea

(via tamer-of-horses)

incorrect-overwatch-quotations:

Sombra: i ain’t talking

Genji: *sharpens knife* we got ways of making people talk

*cuts a piece of cake*

Sombra: …can i have some?

McCree: cake is for talkers

justlookatthosesausages:

how the hell exactly did the legendary four founders of Hogwarts decide that houses were going to be sorted with a HAT

Salazar : what about we organise duels and the winner–

Rowena : no, are you crazy?? they’ll have a writing test, that’s it–

Helga and Godric, bursting through the door, completely drunk : A TaLkiNG hAT

(via messrsmoonyandpads)

goodnightmoonvale:

Superman’s real superpower is finding white button up shirts opaque enough to hide a bright red, blue, & yellow Superman logo underneath without it showing through.

(via callingalltitans)

niamo:

Nico: Hi, I need a doctors appointment

Will: Okay how about 10 tomorrow?

Nico: No I don’t need that many

Will:

(via penguintyrant)

beefnap:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

the human body is so fake like i’ll be reading the news and it’s like “25 year old woman free falls 1,500 feet into 25 feet of snow, found alive and uninjured” and while I’m absolutely reeling over that I don’t even have time to process it fully before I look at the next article “25 year old man falls into shallow end of pool, dies instantly.”

like our bodies literally have the durability predictability of an iphone

one time I misjudged how steep a “hill” was and proceeded to slide down the slope of a cliff for a full half minute and hit the bottom unscathed.

then I tripped on the stairs on my way to see Neon Genesis Evangelion and shattered my entire kneecap.

We have god mode or one hit K/O no in between

(via penguintyrant)

whitmoreindustries:

The next Avengers movie is gonna start like

(via silveroakleafbearer)